Enjoying DC

Weddings: A Single Girl’s Survival Guide

Spring is here. Soon, if we’re lucky, it might even stop raining.  Spring: the season of new things and hope. Also the season of thick lilac envelopes landing heavily on your doormat as you pull your single duvet back over your head.  Just me? Come on, I know it’s not just me.

And the reason I know it’s not just me, and the reason that I have been reminded of this, is that I keep hearing about Save The Date, a new book by Jen Doll which I can’t wait to read even though I know I will kick myself for not having written it before her. Years ago, in the throes of nuptials fatigue, I pulled together this list of wise gems of advice for wedding-weary single girls. I could leave it to languish in my metaphorical drawer, or I could share it with the world. Lucky you: I’ve chosen the latter.

I’m also happy to report from the other side: it really does get better. Eventually, most of your friends are married, and the weddings you get invited to become welcome occasions to get together with people you’re genuinely happy to see. It also helps to move across an ocean, so you can be picky about which invitations to accept, and everyone will totally understand. But for those of you who haven’t made it to that stage of life yet, maybe these tips will help.

1.  Remember it’s an honour to be invited.

Yes, really.  Unless you are a close relative of either the bride or groom, they were not duty-bound to include you.  They want you there: they value your friendship and the place you have in their lives.  This, surely, is worth celebrating.

2.  Pamper yourself.

Have you been wanting to get a manicure, or perhaps highlights in your hair? Here’s your excuse.  If budget allows, it’s also a great opportunity to add to your wardrobe.  Take pleasure in dressing up and looking beautiful.

3.  Wear comfortable shoes.

Nothing breeds self-pity like physical pain.

4.  Focus on the positives.

Take in your surroundings.  Savour the wine.  Revel in the quantity and quality of the food.

5.  Meet people.

In everyone’s circle of friends, there are some fascinating eccentrics who will make for great anecdotes later on, or perhaps inspire a character for that novel you’ve been trying to start.  There are people with great stories, who’ll be thrilled with the opportunity of telling them to a new audience. Who knows, there may even be minor celebrities, future politicians, or someone who shares your love of rare seashells or German embroidery.

6.  Go easy on the drinking.

I know it’s tempting to overdo it when the wine is so tasty and so plentiful.  But alcohol is a depressant, and if you’re struggling to hold it together, it won’t help.  Trust me.  I’ve tried it.

7.  Reward yourself.

Plan for this before the wedding: what film have you wanted to see for a long time? What bubble bath would you like to try? What chocolate? Go out and splurge, so that when you return home, your reward will be awaiting you.

Got any tips of your own? I’d love to hear them.

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